Leading from the Background | Blog of Anant Shrivastava

Before we begin, a caveat:

I spent seven years at my last company-my first formal management role. I had the flexibility from my boss (who also owned the company) to experiment freely. I leaned into an old-school, values-first style of leadership, guided more by instinct and principles than any management playbook. I was also fortunate to have teammates who tolerated my idealism and played along. Looking back, I think we did a good job.

These are some notes I made along the way, shared in the hope that someone might find something useful in them.

It’s also worth noting : I wasn’t hungry for fame in that role. I was already getting recognition through my public work elsewhere. That security probably made it easier for me to push others into the spotlight without feeling like I was losing anything myself. When you’re not chasing credit, it’s easier to give it away.

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists.” – Lao Tzu

There’s a peculiar shift that happens when you become a manager. One day you’re one of the gang “ranting about the build system over chai” and the next, your jokes land with polite laughter, your presence tenses the room by five percent, and suddenly, you’re the ‘sir’ they didn’t mean to say out loud.

I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that being a manager isn’t about being in the spotlight. In fact, the best managers I’ve known (and tried to emulate) are barely visible from the outside. They’re not the ones hogging panel talks or being quoted in press releases. They’re the ones who, when something goes wrong, step forward and absorb the bricks. And when things go right, step back and push their team into the limelight.

“Success has many fathers, but failure is an orphan.”

Because that’s the deal. The team does the good stuff. The problems? Those are everyone’s, but ultimately the manager’s to shoulder.

Shield from the Bricks, But Don’t Hide the Mess

It’s tempting to overcorrect-to shield your team so well that they don’t even realize the walls are shaking. That’s not leadership, that’s denial (been there, done that). What works better is the old wisdom: praise in public, scold in private. And even then, scold is a strong word. I prefer a private, blame-free RCA (Root Cause Analysis), with the goal of ensuring it doesn’t happen again. If a human issue surfaces “not a mistake, but a misfit” then yes, we talk PIPs, exits, and hard truths. But even then, I believe people aren’t faulty; sometimes they’re just in the wrong place.

Step Out So They Can Step Up

I make it a point to slip away during after-hours hangouts. Not because I’m anti-social, but because there’s a kind of team bonding that only happens when the ‘boss’ isn’t around. No matter how chill you think you are, your presence might still change the room. Let them laugh freely. Let them be equals for that moment. If you’re always present, you’re also always being watched. That’s a burden you don’t want them to carry when they’re just trying to dance off a deadline.

Put Them in the Front, Work in the Back

One of the guiding principles I used to share with my team was this: “I don’t want people to say, ‘Oh, you’re from X company? You must be good.’ I want them to say, ‘You’re awesome : and wait, all of you work at X? That company must be amazing.’”

It flips the usual narrative. Now, the team becomes the face, the brand, the reason the company earns respect: not the other way around. As a manager, it’s your job to quietly create the conditions where your people shine in front, while you pull the strings from behind [if needed].

Lead With Action, Not Authority

Leadership isn’t commanding respect through titles. It’s how you show up during a crisis. It’s how you cover for your team when a mistake happens. It’s how you lift them up, highlight their wins, and give them space to grow. And yes, it’s noticed if you steal credit or if you never acknowledge the little things.

I’ve led teams where it was clear to everyone “not because I said it, but because of past actions” that I could step in if needed. That understanding wasn’t used as leverage, but it gave the team confidence. It was a quiet safety net. And over time, they learned to walk the rope themselves, knowing I’d only intervene if absolutely necessary.

You Shouldn’t Have to Say You Can Do Their Job

If you find yourself reminding people that you can do their work, you’ve already lost half the respect. That should come through in the way you operate. Maybe it’s the one time you step in, unblock a nasty issue, and then quietly return to the shadows. Let your actions whisper what your words shouldn’t shout. In the end, maybe the truest sign of leadership is this: when everything is smooth, no one remembers you were even there. And that’s not just okay-that’s the goal.

“When the best leader’s work is done, the people will say, ‘We did it ourselves.’” – Lao Tzu

Small Systems That Helped

One small ritual I introduced was a shared document with each of my reportees. Every month, they were expected to jot down the good stuff they did: big wins, small nudges, anything they were proud of. Once a month, we’d sit down and go through both the highs and the lows.

It was a blessing for them: at year-end, they didn’t need to jog their memory about what happened in January. It was all right there, in their own words. For me as a manager, it was grounding : because once something was promised in those reviews, I couldn’t back out. That monthly commitment kept me honest.

Graceful Goodbyes Matter

One policy we followed: if someone resigned, we didn’t stop them. Experience taught us that people who are convinced to stay end up leaving anyway, often after a costlier detour. Instead, we focused on smooth exits; cut access quickly and avoid toxicity. They would still be paid for their full notice period, but without the need to work or for us to constantly monitor. A clean break keeps the workplace clean too.

Still a Work in Progress

There are parts of management I still wrestle with.

• Letting people go. It’s painful, but sometimes necessary – for them and for the team.
• Trusting gut instinct. Every time I ignored mine, it bit me later. There’s a voice inside you for a reason – listen to it.

Even with experience, you don’t always get it right. But the willingness to reflect and adjust is part of what makes the journey worthwhile. If you’re still finding your footing, that’s okay too. This isn’t the only way: just a version that worked when I had the space and security to explore it.

Of course, not all management roles are created equal. Some operate under intense scrutiny, rigid KPIs, or limited autonomy. I get that. I had the privilege of working in environments where I could shape things more freely – and I know that changes the dynamics. That kind of structural safety helped. But even without it, a few of these habits “like credit-sharing, private RCAs, or stepping away when needed” can still work and foster trust.

As teams grow larger and span multiple time zones or functions, this approach can get more difficult to sustain. But not impossible. Systems scale. Principles can too, if we’re willing to reinforce them through process and culture.

And maybe that’s the real challenge: not in knowing what good leadership looks like, but in having the courage and consistency to uphold it.